July 14th, 2019

So........... in mid-July 2015, I spent four days in Intensive Care, after going into Septic Shock because a kidney stone had been blocking my kidney for several weeks before things all went pear-shaped.  So here I am, four years into life 'post-sepsis'.  Yes, there is a definite 'pre' and 'post' to life before and after Sepsis.  I am slowly, with lots of setbacks along the way, but surely, seeing the positives.  I was once warned to not let Sepsis define me but I am absolutely going to let my survival and the rebuilding of my life post-sepsis define me.  It has taken every ounce of 'thrawness' (being thrawn is an excellent Scottish phrase for being stubborn but it's so much better!!), resilience, patience, belief, honesty, integrity, authenticity, courage and so much more.

One of the greatest gifts I have been given post-sepsis is increased empathy for people who have been through challenging situations. So many people have something significant they have had to overcome.  However, we aren't always as kind and compassionate as we could be to each other.  We are often too caught up in our own 'busy lives' and become blinkered to those closest to us. We can be impatient and blind to the challenges that linger within. We all need to take more time to nurture ourselves and each other.

Another gift I recieved from Sepsis was the time to learn more about what I really need in life.  The photo with this post was taken after a session in a 'Float Room'; a sensory deprivation experience that cleared my head, completely cleared my joint pain for several days and left me in a totally relaxed, calm state.  Floating has now been added to my rather extended toolkit.   

I can still get caught up too much in the 'doing' part of life.  Gradually, I am getting better at 'stopping' and  'being' though.  It's taking time.  I was always busy working, running, cycling, swimming, doing whatever came along with endless energy and enthusiasm.  Now I try to channel that energy and enthusiasm into making sure I am 'ok' and supporting others to add to their own toolboxes.  In time, I would like to be better than 'ok' but years of bad habits take time to turn around!  

What do I do? Mindfulness, EFT, reiki, meditate, yoga, walk and spend time in the outdoors, rest, play and listen to music, switch off tv and technology and consciously slow my whole life down.    

Is it easy? I'm practising!

How successful am I? I am getting pretty good at most of the above but setting up a business takes a lot of technology time, so that is my achilles heel right now.  Over the next few weeks I am going to schedule specific time for working on the business.  I hope that the time I do spend will be more focussed and more productive.  The reduced time being exposed to technology and thinking (obsessing?!) about the business, will mean that I should be more rested and more able to look after myself and others. 

I have always preferred working as part of a team. I hope that gradually, we can all support and nurture each other as part of the AndBreathe family.  Each and every one of us has something to share. As part of a team, we can 'be' anything we want to be! Thank you for being part of this new chapter.